Day 1 - Taking a Risk

So you wanna be a writer? What does it take? Well, I'm not sure. Wisdom and strength, I guess. I've tried to be a writer for several years now, and perhaps have had the wisdom, but not the strength; or had the strength, but not the wisdom. (I fear I cannot get both in the same moment.) I'm 37 and still haven't stepped out and actually done it. I recently saw the movie Julie & Julia and was inspired to start a blog. Not in the hopes of getting a book and movie contract (my story - at this point - is anything but compelling...it's not even written yet!), but simply because the movie drove home the fact that sometimes you just have to take a risk to do your art; whether it's writing, cooking, or making a movie, for that matter (congrats, Columbia Pictures).

I've read a lot about living an artistic life and tried to do it. About six years ago I did write and produce a music CD and even dared to step out for a national grass-roots tour with it. I am constantly irked by my guitar sitting idle in the corner of my apartment. Am I just too old? I love The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, and On Writing by Stephen King. These writers have all taken risks to create the art that compels them, drives them. (I wonder...at what point did Stephen or Anne reply to a stranger's inquiry regarding their occupation, "I'm a writer!"? Oh, to be able to answer so boldy! And then, at what point did their family members reply in kind when asked - "Gee, what's Anne up to these days?"...the true test.).

I am at my wit's end, as well, being that I was laid off from teaching (along with 6,999ish other California public school teachers) and have no job prospects to speak of. So, really, I've got nothing to lose. I'm wondering how I'm going to pay my rent, feed my dog, and actually start writing a book. I guess I'll have to take a risk. I even came up with plan that chaotically includes playing music, tutoring English, and part-timing at a restaurant and a retail shop in town. (Somehow, I will need to fit writing into the mix. Early mornings, here I come.) I don't know what I have to lose at this point, as I don't have much, but it feels like a big risk. I'm scared; but it also feels exciting. I guess I'm not sure which feeling I should pay attention to.